"Jennifer’s Bodies is a roving annual festival of female-helmed horror movies and part of Women In Horror Recognition Month, an international assortment of affiliated events organised partly to highlight just how much women can and do contribute to the genre outwith the typically accepted factors of tits, ass and mezzosoprano screaming." Starburst Magazine

Monday, 30 June 2014

FUCK YOU BBFC!! By Hacking Up Axelle Carolyn's Debut Feature Soulmate, you Have Proven Once More that you Have NO Soul!!


"So, BBFC decision's in. Four set of compulsory long cuts to get an 18. F- you, BBFC. And take that, splat pack: I made a video nasty without even trying."
- Axelle Carolyn


"Cuts were required to remove a detailed focus on a particular suicide technique. These cuts were required in line with BBFC Guidelines, policy and the Video Recordings Act 1984. In addition, company chose to remove the entire scene in which these details occurred, in order to achieve a 15 classification. An 18 classification without these additional cuts was available."


So you can fuck a child, and knock a woman's teeth out so she can't bite you as you have her chained up so she can suck your dick, or rape a woman before chopping her head off with a machete and continuing to fuck her, or torture a girl so horrifically until she sees God, or violently rape a woman, or bash some dudes head to a pulp with a fire extinguisher, or break into a woman's home to graphically attempt to cut her baby out of her....yet you can't show a person choosing death by suicide, as it's TOO instructory!!!  What the fuck ever BBFC!!  


And the best part is....that's just FOUR films I'm referring too.  And one of those films has even MORE fucked up shit in it!!  I am of course referring to A Serbian Film!  Which even after BBFC cuts, was still a fucked up film!  Yet a tragic, haunting gothic thriller which features a suicide (attempt), it gets chopped to fuck with the BBFC BANNING the full film!!!!!  The best part is, is that director Axelle Carolyn was expecting a 12A!!  We live in an age where if someone wants to kill themselves, and they want to know how to do it properly, all they need to do is watch fucking Hollyoaks or use a little thing called GOOGLE!!


When director Neil Marshall was featured as part of the documentary talking about the Video Nasties, I'm pretty God damned sure that he NEVER would have thought that his beautifully talented wife would EVER, EVER, EVER have her debut feature confined to this list!  EVER!!!  Axelle's first short, The Last Post, it was a beautiful piece of tragic, haunting melancholy, which had me in tears!!  A theme that Axelle is far more invested in than being one of the SPLAT PACK!!  Yet, whilst the boys are making fucked up films where they'd be horrified to get a 12A rating (James Wan, exempt, as he has stated, and I agree with him; that to get a 12A rating on a film that is still scary, it takes a certain degree of masterfulness to get that!), Axelle has made something that is deeply tragic, yet soulful, hence the title, Soulmate.  Knowing that for her to release her film in the UK now (through the wonderful people at Soda Pictures), she is going to have to release a cut version.  And the cut (to pardon the metaphor), is going to take away a principle part of the film.  And it happens at the beginning as well....so basically, they're going to take away the beginning of her film.  What the BBFC are basically doing, is influencing people to pirate a film.  A film by a blossoming, and wonderfully quirky talent, that they should be fucking proud of!!   But lets face it...that's what people will do!!  It's already hard enough for indie filmmakers to get the support they require....and even harder for female indie filmmakers!!


So fuck you BBFC, plenty of people were slitting their wrists before this, and killing themselves in all manner of ways.  And plenty will do so afterwards.  Censorship doesn't stop suicide.  And rather than inspire people to open up about these topics, and to discuss them...you are whitewashing over the whole thing, hoping that by covering up the opening theme of a tragic film, will help you cover your ass when the next person chooses death by suicide.  I worked in mental health for long enough, and know enough crazy people to know how much of an insult this decision actually is!!

What about all of the violence against women, and the deaths that happen EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY from spouses/partners/ex-partners...is that OKAY in your eyes?!  What about all the violence towards children.  And animals.  (Yes, it's okay for someone to fuck a donkey apparently!!)  THAT is acceptable, and suitable for an 18 rating in your eyes, yet suicide isn't!?  FUCK OFF!!  I'm sure Woman's Aid would have something to say about that!!



And just to clarify, all of the films I have mentioned, I LOVE!!!  Even though Martyrs actually made me want to gauge my eyeballs out so I didn't have to look any more, it made me feel THAT horrible!!  And Inside and Irreversible, they're fucked up, but amazing.  In fact....it's okay for them to allow fucked up FRENCH films....but not a BRITISH film!!!  Whatever happened to BRITISH Broadcasting!?!!!  As for A Serbian Film, that film is stunning!  Horrific, yet stunning all the same!  The fact that A Serbian Film merely had 4 minutes and 12 seconds removed to pass an 18 rating is shocking.  The scene where he's fucking his little boy is almost that long!!  It's this kind of shit that just utterly astounds me!  In fact, you can check out a comparison between the full version, and the BBFC "cut" version here.


So yes....BBFC, I am indeed extremely pissed off with your decision, you have failed your own people with your backwards fucktard ways!  Thank you for your help in supporting the downfall of British film!!  FUCK YOU!!  

I think Axelle needs to adopt the approach of her Centurion character to deal with the British Broadcasting Fucking Cunts!!  

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